10 Common Children Questions

1. Who should the children live with? Do I get shared care?

Who should have custody? There is no fixed rule as to which parent the children should live with. This will depend on many factors such as who has been their primary care-giver before (or after) separation, the age of the children and whether the children are at risk of harm or abuse in any way. Both parents can agree to a care plan that suits them and the children. But if there is no agreement then the Court can decide. The Court will make a decision by looking at your particular case and asking what is in the children’s best interests.

2. When can I spend time with the children if they are not living with me?

You can spend as much time with the children as you can both agree as parents. If there is no agreement then the Court can decide when you should spend time with the children by considering what is in the children’s best interests. It is not uncommon to spend at least 3 to 5 nights per fortnight with your children if they are not living with you. But this will depend on the circumstances in your particular case.

3. Can my ex stop me seeing the children?

Not unless you spending time with the children will put the children at risk or not be in their best interests.

4. We have reached an agreement. Can we just get on with it?

Yes, if you have reached an agreement and the arrangements are working you can simply get on with it. Be aware that the arrangements you put in place will set the living arrangements in future unless there is some significant change.

5. What if we agree in writing and both of us sign it? Will it hold up in Court?

No. You will need to have your agreement to be drawn up, filed at Court and made as an Order at Court for your agreement to legally stand up.

6. Can the police help me if there are no Court Orders?

No. The police have very limited power to act in children’s matters about custody but can help on some occasions where there are Court Orders in place.

7. How do I get a Court Order?

If there is agreement you can both file the terms of your agreement with the Court, which are then made as a Court Order. Where you can’t agree then you need to apply to the Court by filing an Application and providing your supporting sworn statements to the Court. You will then be given a Hearing date.

8. What does the Court take into account when they decide?

The Court takes into account many factors including the best interests of the children, the relationships between the children and their parents, and each parent’s capacity to look after the children.

9. Can I change the time I want to spend with the children in the future?

Yes, either by agreement or by application to the Court.

10. Can I share the responsibility of bringing up the children with my ex even though we are no longer together?

Yes, you can. You can have what is called:- equal shared parental responsibility” if you agree to it, or if the Court Orders this, again depending on the circumstances in your particular case.